Thursday, May 26, 2011

Absent and Struggling

Obviously I've been absent lately. Not just absent from blogging but absent from my life. I've been struggling with so many things that I just haven'thad the heart to do much of anything. Depressed is too strong a word, more like I've been in a funk. A stinkin', lazy funk. Here are my struggles of late...
  • Someone I love is ill and it sucks. I struggle with how to help from a distance. How to keep myself from freaking out. How to be there for my loved ones that are hurting, too. I could go on about this one forever but its a little too personal and a lot too painful.
  • Time management. Now that E is awake and much more active (not crawling but more than just rolling) I find myself using any time that the girls are occupied and less needy to sit and do nothing. Not even a fun "nothing" like read a magazine or watch a favorite show. I just. Do. Nothing. Which, as you can imagine, leaves my house looking horrible, my projects all half (ok, no lies here, a quarter) finished, and my belly and thighs more jiggly than ever. I'd love to blameit on the girls and say that they're the reason I never get anything done but thats not fair to them and its a big ol' crock of hooey.
  • Inspiration. I usually love the results of little projects I do around my home. But lately I kinda feel like "what's the point?" I planted a little garden but what didn't die on our last little trip won't survive the 3 weeks I'm going to be gone in June. This place is just another place. Why buy furniture or put the money and energy into decorating when before I know it, the movers will be here again to packit all up and stuff it into some other place in some other unknown city? Bah. Self-pity overfloweth this today.
But, I'm hoping to get back into the swing of things right now. I'm praying for my fervor for life to be restored. Praying for laziness to be saved for a relaxing on a porch swing, not vegging out on my couch. Praying for the health of those that I love. Praying for the here and now to be enough in this earthly world. Praying that I constantly remember the promise of eternal life without all of these (some big, some little) struggles.

And, about those Target chairs. Stay tuned because tomorrow I'll tell you all about them. Sorry for the heaviness. Just a little explanation of where I've been. Oh, and I few pics of where I've been, too. A week long trip to California to see the in-laws included...

The Hubs running his 1st race, a half marathon. We were so proud and met him at the finish line, even though it meant being out the door at 6:15 a.m.!!! He ran it in 1:58:04 with 2 bathroom breaks (he didn't stand a chance during any of The Lord of the Rings movies. What ever happened to intermission???)...

A day at the beach...

And of course, a trip to Disneyland!

2 comments:

  1. Sorry about your funk. :-/ That happens to me too. You know what sometimes helps though? Exercise. As terrible as it sounds at the time, getting the endorphins going can sometimes just be the best possible thing for your mood. Then come inside and ruin it all by eating chocolate. That's what I would end up doing anyway. :) I hope you feel better and things start looking up!

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  2. I'm sorry to hear about your funk and that someone close to you is sick. There seems to be so many people that are sick lately. I lost my best friend since 5th grade last year to a sickness. It sucks! Not being able to "help" is the worst even from a distance you can be a good listener! I'll be praying that you get through this soon. Hey and the part of what's the point this is just another place blah blah blah that's your funk talking! We move in fix up our homes knowing that we will not be staying very long because that's what we need to do. Everybody needs a home to come home too and it's good for your kids too.

    Feel better soon and I will come back tomorrow to read about the chairs. I am so excited!

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